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Joke of the Day

"Farted on my wallet... Now I have gas money."

"I bet my butcher 50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said ""No, the steaks are too high""."

"How was your day? -You know in Die Hard when he runs barefoot over broken glass? That bad? -Oh no. It's just a cool scene. My day was decent"

"@JustCallMeMike_: Make allergy season more exciting by snorting confetti so that every time you sneeze... it's like a little party on your face."

"What's the second to last thing the redneck said before he died? Shit, I can do that.. What about the last thing? Look, I'm doing it!!!"

"Why did the farmer name his pig Ink? Because he kept running out of the pen."

"What is an obstetrician's favorite part of the ocean? It's the sea section."

"How do you make a protester cry? Tear gas"

"Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us."

"Just got hired on at a high end restaurant, my main job so far has been oyster preparation And I've gotta say, it really shucks"