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Joke of the Day

"What is an obstetrician's favorite part of the ocean? It's the sea section."

"(Works better spoken) The seaman was asked what he was doing when he got out. He said when he got discharged he'd be buried in pussy."

"That moment when... ...you're on reddit too much and you say repost too often."

"Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make... Then they call me ugly and poor."

"How are the Oakland Raiders like the mailman? Neither one delivers on Sunday!"

"Remember World War II? Now close your eyes and imagine? Women and children don't exist. Everyone else is a Man, 90 years old. How long would it have taken for World War II to finish?"

"I wouldn't last 5 minutes in prison what with my milky skin and Glee themed tattoos."

"The ruling that legal papers can now be ""served"" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?"

"How much do pirates pay for earrings? Somewhere around a buck an ear."

"Elevator is broken. Had to use the other one. #firstworldproblems"