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Joke of the Day

"I bet my butcher 50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said ""No, the steaks are too high""."

"Do you know the fat catholic woman? [OC] She has mass."

"If I had a dollar for every time I said a racist comment, I would have 0 dollars Because some black guy would have robbed me"

"I tell my daughter she has no idea how lucky she is. When I was 12, I had to use a pay phone and walk 10 miles in the snow to get weed"

"You're like a semicolon. I'm not sure exactly what to do with you."

"How do you know a woman is wearing tights? - Her knees swell up when she farts."

"How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon? The same way British people pronounce beer can."

"I felt like making a joke about the stock market but I won't burst your bubble."

"None of my coworkers get why I have fishbowl with no fish. It's because fish can't survive in my secret reservoir of vodka."

"Why can't Jim's make sandwiches? Cause it was at my grannies, isn't it!!!"