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Joke of the Day

"What happens when a sweatshop gets busted? The entire outfit is compromised."

"I emailed Hillary that to secure a win, she had to pick Bernie as VP. I guess she deleted it."

"I built a castle, but it turned out bad I guess I didn't put in much ef-fort"

"Does saying ""No Nigerian scammers"" in your ad really deter Nigerian scammers from scamming you Nigeriously?"

"GREETINGS MORTAL, YOU MAY ASK ME ONE QUE- ""what's the deal with airline food?"" GODDAMNIT JERRY HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING THIS CRYSTAL"

"I'm getting engaged next month. Not because I'm in love but because it's gonna look dope on Instagram."

"Y'know, I used to be quite indecisive. Now I'm not so sure."

"Husband: I called my boss ""Honey"" today. Wife: What? Why? H: He was shouting at me and telling me I was wrong, and it just slipped out."

"[At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money."

"What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird."