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Joke of the Day

"I built a castle, but it turned out bad I guess I didn't put in much ef-fort"

"[Xmas morning] wife: Honey, is this a dolphin? We agreed no dolphins. ""dolphin-shaped gift flopping wildly under tree* me: JUST OPEN IT"

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"A baby seal walks into a club.... ba dum bump - ting...."

"Pitch: A Movie/ TV ep that starts w a Muslim guy praying & then it turns out he's a normal guy & the story has nothing to do with terrorism."

"I hear the Star Wars universe is so advanced, you can get Chinese food directly over the internet... They use an e-wok."

"Not sure why people ask what I'll be doing in 5 years, it's not like I have 2020 vision"

"My friend asked me if I wanted to skip class. I said ""nah, I think I'll pass."""

"99% of humanity Works on the principle of rocket science. It does not mean , we always aim for the sky; it means that we do not start work unless our tail is on fire."

"My uncle knew the exact moment when he was going to die, down to the last second. Isn't that amazing? The judge told him"