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Joke of the Day

"[At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money."

"Did you hear about the new anti-depressant for lesbians? It's called tricoxagain."

"*police sirens* *Dad bursts into my room wearing a panda suit* QUICK HIDE THESE NO TIME TO EXPLAIN *throws a litter of panda cubs at me*"

"Man: You've been very loyal but it's best we part ways Dog: I don't understand. What's the problem? Man: Your talking kinda freaks me out."

"Mermaids: Can't live with them, can't beat them in a potato sack race."

"I LIKE THE WAY YOUR FLESH IS GATHERED ABOUT YOUR SKELETON - from pickup lines draft folder"

"Q: What do you call a man who marries an old ugly and poor woman? A: Desperate!"

"What did the left nut say to the right nut? Don't talk to the guy in the middle, he's a dick"

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

"Let's have some fun! I'm up for anything today!* *As long as there aren't too many stairs."