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Joke of the Day

"I have found a cure for people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder... ... just send them to concentration camps."

"People are like trees: you can figure out their age by cutting into them & counting the rings. Right? I didn't do this for nothing, right?"

"What do you call a dog who likes a lot of bass in his music? A Sub-Woofer."

"What's six inches long that women love? Folding money."

"Having watched the entire season of a show before me doesn't make you better than me, it makes you more unemployed than me"

"I heard diarrhea is hereditary... It runs in your jeans. (Ba dum tss)"

"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."

"""Your days are numbered!"" - inventor of the calendar, joyously announcing his accomplishment"

"you are one of billions of workers trading irreplaceable hours of your life so a few hundred guys can have more money than anyone in history"

"75% of women who say 'G-strings are more comfortable than regular underwear', know that men hear 'I like things in my butt'."