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Joke of the Day

"When the doctor told me I only had six months to live, I killed him violently with his own pencil. Worked a treat. Got me twenty years."

"What did the dolphin say to the frog? Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy."

"Did you hear about the teacher who had eye problems? She couldn't control her pupils."

"What do FRENCH people order from McDonald's FRENCH fries hahaha"

"him: what are you looking for on this dating site? me: someone who will hold the cats down so I can take pics of them wearing sunglasses."

"I signed up today for a college American Fiction Literature class, apparently it was a really popular class. It was LIT AF"

"A heads up to girls on Facebook .. if your status says ""single"" and your profile picture is you with your cat - Well then no fucking shit"

"Why did the man become a baker? He kneaded the dough."

"Pro tip: never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Lion Tamer Barbie ...lion is included; Barbie's head is not"