209906

Joke of the Day

"him: what are you looking for on this dating site? me: someone who will hold the cats down so I can take pics of them wearing sunglasses."

"Ray Rice's wife apologized for her part in the ""incident""?!?!? That's insane. What did she fumble her purse?"

"Where did Santa meet his wife? Conjunction Junction. They specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses"

"Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not in hail. ^-- ^Ed ^Byrne"

"There was a counter top on layaway at Home Depot. They said it was for the Packers' punt returner, Hyde. It was for Micah."

"[i fall down the stairs & break my back] Me: Siri, call me 911 Siri: okay.. I will call you 911 from now on Me: haha nice Siri: thanks 911"

"I was sitting in traffic the other day got run over."

"Some crazy Spanish lady just killed a passenger simply because of the way he chose to travel... It was a loco motive."

"Why did the man sleep after being run over by a car? Because he got tired."

"i've just bought an english snake. Sir Pent"