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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Woodstock Killer? He was charged for murder within tents."

"My girlfriend says I treat her like an object. I don't know why it keeps saying that."

"The bouncer was kicking me out & I put up my finger for him 2 wait,while I chugged the rest of my drink.All he could say was: Are U serious?"

"I like bald eagles. They taste almost just like baby seals."

"I still have a lot of teen angst You wouldn't understand"

"Monday, Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday Those were the days..."

"I had heard the rumors of clowns being spotted all over the country... But I honestly didn't believe it until I saw them debate each other on TV."

"Why would a dead girl lie? Because she can't stand up."

"I'd be the worst 911 Operator. ""Uh ma'am I think you mean he was lying in a puddle of his own blood, not laying."""

"Top 3 questions asked by my parents: 3) How's the business? 2) Do you have a girlfriend? 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator?"