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Joke of the Day

"OK - who knows their Soupy Sales lines? I'll give you the set-ups, you give us the lines."

"Events like the death of the Indian gang-rape victim just help remind me why I hate humans so much."

"you ~~you~~ **your existence** ~~lol jk~~"

"Some kids called me fatty as I walked down the street today. I just turned the other chin."

"Yesterday, I told my son about the Tooth Fairy. Today, I find 33 teeth under his pillow. Clearly they are not his. I am very, very afraid."

"Cat is hissing at nothing in the kitchen. Based on horror movies I've seen nothing good can come of this, but I'm a white guy so I'll stay."

"Few things more demoralizing than saying ""excuse me"" to a mannequin."

"BIGAMY Q: What's the downside to bigamy? A: More than one mother-in-law."

"A horse walks into a bar... and the bartender asks, ""hey, why the long face?"""

"Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long? I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier."