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Joke of the Day

"you ~~you~~ **your existence** ~~lol jk~~"

"the best thing about hair glitter is that you don't have to use it"

"Why is whacking a Donald Trump pinata a really *bad* idea? Because it's full of shit"

"Did you hear what happened to the dildo farmer? He had a big problem with squatters."

"My trainer told me she's sick of me pretending to be a detective. I hit her with a Thunderbolt and locked her in her own Pokeball."

"""It's just bananas, bananas, bananas with you,"" the wife shouted. ""If I told you I was going to leave you because of this ridiculous obsession, what would you say?"" ""Well, thanks a bunch,"" I replied."

"Irishman Walks Out of A Bar"

"Why shouldn't you argue with a 90 degree angle? It's always right."

"take me down to the paraphrase city where it's nice"

"My grandfather was an ace dog fighter he taught Michael Vick everything he knows!"