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Joke of the Day

"Cat is hissing at nothing in the kitchen. Based on horror movies I've seen nothing good can come of this, but I'm a white guy so I'll stay."

"Q: What do you call 3 blondes a chimp and another blonde standing on a street corner? A: 4 f*cks 4 f*cks 4 f*cks not for a zillion f*cks 4 f*cks!"

"I don't like peanut butter... it just isn't my jam."

"Longest Joke ever Loading..."

"How does an engineer screw a light-bulb? He holds the light-bulb over the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him."

"I went for a job interview last Tuesday and was asked to describe myself in three words. ""Violent when disappointed,"" I replied. I hope to get the appointment letter on Monday."

"7: Dad what does this word mean Me: Bring me a dictionary *Smack up side the head Me: Now go google that shit"

"How many unwashed gorillas did Fetty Wap buy? 17 dirty apes."

"[alarm clock goes off] ok it's happening again it's a day and it's here again *googling* day again why how to unsubscribe days"

"What's the difference between light beer and having sex in a boat? Nothing. They're both fucking near water."