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Joke of the Day

"You call it armed robbery, I call it people giving me gifts to celebrate my new gun!"

"I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis"

"The inventor of the throat lozenge died today... There will be no coffin at the funeral."

"What idiot decided it should be my foot's asleep instead of coma toes?"

"What's the worst animal to play cards with? A cheetah. Because it'll rip your fucking face off."

"I go in hard, I come in soft, you blow me. What am I? Gum."

"What do you call a far-ranging debate? A mass-debate."

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? Well the first noticeable difference is that the watermelon tastes better."

"So summer is coming up and i think I'm in good enough shape to pull off a two piece. The hardest part is just chasing her down."

"Why do black people hate wine? Because it's a waste of perfectly good grape juice. (Also, anyone care to explain me where the ""Black people like grape juice"" came from?)"