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Joke of the Day

"What idiot decided it should be my foot's asleep instead of coma toes?"

"I once made a belt out of herbs. It wasn't very useful and just ended up being a waist of thyme."

"I went fishing but didn't catch any fish It was a failure."

"There's Only One Thing I hate More Than a Litterbug... ...having a dirty car."

"When I was a kid I was a sore loser... ...,I cried every time my dad beat me."

"*takes a picture of food for Instagram* Food: delete it"

"What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? How was your date with Chris Brown."

"When my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed My name, my address, my phone number"

"Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine? It was soda pressing."

"What's the difference between a pitbull and a social worker? You might get your baby back off a pitbull."