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Joke of the Day
"The inventor of the throat lozenge died today... There will be no coffin at the funeral."
Next Joke
"I hate when people text back ""K""...I'm rarely in the mood to talk about potassium."
"That awkward moment when your phone auto-corrects ""I wanna do it"" to ""I wanna donut"" because it knows you're fat."
"""Can you describe your self in two words?"" - Lazy."
"This one time, I got kicked out of the audience of ""Cats"" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer."
"What's Hitler's least favorite Beatles song? Hey Jude"
"If you have Parkinson's disease... ...that means you stutter in sign language."
"I found a penny today and it reminded me of my ex...worthless and in everybody's pants."
"How do you keep an asshole in suspense?"
"Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists? They're cultured."