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Joke of the Day

"ME: I'd like to order...the updog. WAITER: How would u like that prepared? ME: um medium well? W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done"

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"I just can't find any good doctors... EVERY one of them is still in practice."
"I like my beer like i like my violence... Domestic"
"Remember when Muhammad Ali died? Yeah, neither does he."
"What do you call Abby who lives in the city? Downtown Abby"
"Tangled earbuds are the new rubik's cube."
"What do you get when you mix acids and bases together? Rape."
"Nothing more uncomfortable than a girl with a lazy eye looking up at you while giving you head."
"knock knock joke ""knock knock"" ""who's there"" ""jerry"" ""jerry who? ""jerry seinfeld"""
"Did you know Yao Ming had a dog? He had a dog before every NBA game."