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Joke of the Day
"Two men walk into a bar... Knock, knock."
Next Joke
"What does a cab driver have in common with a pool cue ball? The harder you hit them, the more english you get out."
"Once you've seen one shopping centre... ...you've seen a mall"
"I wear Lacoste shirts with the little crocodile on them because when shit goes down I want crocodiles to know that I'm on their side."
"Did you hear the one about the donkey and the sloth? Ultamate frisbee badger!"
"What do you call sex with a french midget? Bone a petite"
"My doctor said I need to cut back my sodium intake... ...but I tend to take everything he says with a grain of salt."
"The guy I've been paying to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don't own any animals."
"One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, He said ""here's a picture of me when I was younger."" I responded ""Every picture is of you when you were younger."" -Mitch Hedberg"
"[god inventing animals] okay here's a new one. It's an umbrella ""okay"" made out of jello ""alright"" and it electrocutes things ""you're drunk"""