59834

Joke of the Day

"[interview after losing a fight] ""What happened out there?"" I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either"

"What does a pirate say when he turns 80? Aye matey!"

"I visited a Blonde Doctor recently she diagnosed me with Insomnia. Don't worry she said it wasn't anything to lose sleep over."

"It all The title says it all."

"My friend told me she has herpes. I told her it's not the end of the world, just a few bumps in the road."

"You know what is intense? Camping. Is intense."

"Do I have a girlfriend!? Are you kidding me? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TOILET PAPER THOSE THINGS USE!?"

"What do you call a cow that has a record player, tight pants, and thick brimmed glasses? A hip-steer."

"Nobody lives forever, but especially not that homeless person I just ran over."

"To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential."