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Joke of the Day

"I don't think Jesus would be mad if he came back and saw what the world has become. He might be a bit cross, though."

"What's the difference between incest porn and regular porn? The mute button."

"When a coworker says ""This is all Greek to me"", I always assume they want me to punch them right in their throatopolis."

"ALERT: If u got a message from me saying ""I Need To Contact Poopy Woman"" that was a hacker or error. I called the cops and they are mad"

"My cat tried to knock over my TV this morning. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?!"

"Im wearing my camouflaged underwear. They'll never see me cuming"

"[ice cream parlor] WIFE: I'll have two scoops of vanilla ME: me too, u could say I want an WIFE AND CLERK: please don't ME: ice cream clone"

"Apparently you can survive just by eating plants. That's something I haven't herbivore."

"What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy? Julius Seizure."

"What do we want? TO BE LESS INSECURE? When do we want it? NOW! Um, I think... Soon, I guess? Is that weird? When do people usually want it?"