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Joke of the Day

"Im wearing my camouflaged underwear. They'll never see me cuming"

"Why was the 6 month old African baby crying? (x-post from ImGoingToHellForThis) It was having a mid-life crisis."

"What is the size of women in Italy? Itali-cized."

"Did you guys hear about the joke about the high wall? It's so funny, I'm still trying to get over it."

"I asked my German professor... ...""can you tell me how many credit hours of German this school offers?"" She replied, ""nine."" ""Well, thanks anyways,"" I said."

"Right on, adults who are excited for Halloween. I too get excited about things meant for kids. Last week I lost my shit because I saw a frog"

"These cat babies are straight up gangsta. I'm going to name them all after Friends characters. The one I hate will be Ross."

"I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I'm down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall."

"[boarding plane with really old pilot] ""think his heart will hold out? lol"" attendent: excuse me, sir? ""depart out, what time do we leave?"""

"Why did Adrian Peterson sign with the Minnesota Twins? Because they needed a switch-hitter."