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Joke of the Day

"When a coworker says ""This is all Greek to me"", I always assume they want me to punch them right in their throatopolis."

"How are whores and movies alike? You pay up front for both and even if it's bad, you don't get a refund for either."

"Sex is like the stock market... It's better if you're insider."

"She said she was turned on by men who took risks. So he took the plastic off his iPhone screen."

"Hey girl , is the cosine of you positive? Cos you're acute angle."

"How does software eat it's food? By taking large bytes!"

"My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate."

"Constipated people don't give a crap."

"Gasping for air while saying ""Oh. My. God."" as a waiter brings you dessert makes you look like a big fat fuck."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday , one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off."