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Joke of the Day

"an always fun part of dating an extremely cool girl is learning just how many of her guy friends are secretly in love with her"

"Why can't Africa have Volkswagen beetles? Because an elephant will screw anything with a trunk in the front. Thanks to a random guy outside of a 7/11."

"What did the lightbulb say to its mother? I wuv you watts and watts."

"A feminist's view point. Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Feminist: The glass is being raped."

"What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite football team? The New York Jets."

"It's expensive to attend Amputation University... Tuition's an arm and a leg!"

"What breaks when you give it to a toddler? Her hips."

"2 hours into dieting] omg I'm so lightheaded"

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?!"

"If you're new to Twitter from Facebook, you can just reply ""Like"" to all of my tweets. I'll understand"