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Joke of the Day

"A feminist's view point. Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Feminist: The glass is being raped."

"What did Sandy say when she came to New York? I come to this great city with great intentions."

"Why do all the elements get cranky once a month? Cause they are on their periodic table."

"I used to play the triangle in a reggae band... I'd stand at the back and ting"

"Depending on who you are determines what colors you see the dress as. Chris Brown sees it as black and blue."

"Don't buy a low-quality mirror. It would reflect poorly on you."

"I accidentally took 1 of my girlfriend's multivitamins for women & I've been looking at engagement rings & crying uncontrollably for 4 hours"

"I don't like to talk about masturbation. It's a touchy subject for me."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but first the lightbulb must decide to change itself."

"What do you call a group of sorority girls? A whorde."