202951

Joke of the Day

"Why can't Africa have Volkswagen beetles? Because an elephant will screw anything with a trunk in the front. Thanks to a random guy outside of a 7/11."

"Does anyone want to buy a broken yo-yo? No strings attached"

"doctor: your test results have come patient: what does it say? doctor : but first , what is your zodiac sign? patient: cancer, but why ? doctor : what a coincidence !"

"I just heard my roommate mixing some beats except I don't have a roommate and it was my cat throwing up."

"Only 2 more weeks! My wife promised me that if I kept the baby alive for a year I could get a plant!"

"I told a Catholic girl my penis is named Jesus... ...because it always rises on the third date."

"Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld? Because Demeter stopped working."

"What is love? You just sang ""baby, don't hurt me."" In your mind didn't you?"

"Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?"

"What's the national bird of Pakistan? US Army Drone"