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Joke of the Day

"Can't put title, please read description Can't put description, please read title"

"TIL you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy... for boarding the wrong vessel... just once Whoops, wrong *sub*."

"""i before me, excepts after we.."" - gollum in elementary school"

"Lol how ""take you out"" could mean either we're going on a date or I'm gonna kill you."

"Why don't lobsters share? Because they're shellfish..."

"Whats the last thing you want to hear before you go to sleep? Zippity Bop, Puddin' pop!"

"My belly is fat My brain has delay. You guessed it right. I'm from NA."

"My wife asked me: ""Shall we go bowling or stay cozy home."" I replied: "" I am sick of putting my fingers in holes that everyone has touched with their sweaty hands. Let's go bowling!"""

"What does a Browns fan say to a robber? I hate the steelers."

"son ur mom told me u & ur gf broke up today? *puts hand on sons shoulder* if u had bought a pet falcon like i told u she woulda never left u"