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Joke of the Day

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"A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells ""You should have been here at 8:30!"" he replies: ""Why? What happened at 8:30?"""

"So, I'm thinking of getting a sex change. Currently I have none, but I identify as someone who does. EDIT: Changed relate to identify. I think it better that way."

"I tried phone sex for the first time the other day... Didn't really like it though, the phone was too cold."

"Facebook is terrific way to connect with classmates who haven't aged as well as you."

"How do you get down from an elephant? You don't. You get down from a goose."

"How does NASA prepare for an organized event? They planet!"

"There's no human I hate more than the attendant in the bathroom at bars. Bro, I can handle this portion of my day ASSISTANCE FREE."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and Tianjin? I'm only 75% sure Jews did Tianjin"

"Went to buy face moisturizer and the young girl at counter said, ""Lets find something for mature skin."" And then Security had to escort me."