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Joke of the Day

"Went to buy face moisturizer and the young girl at counter said, ""Lets find something for mature skin."" And then Security had to escort me."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? [NSFW] He doesn't want anyone to know he's been fucking the chickens!"

"If pirates say ""Arr"", What do software pirates say? .RAR"

"The US asked Mexico how many illegal immigrants got into America each year... Mexico said- ""Not Juan"""

"When a character in a movie says the title in the middle of dialogue they should be required to wink and make tiny guns with their fingers."

"Someone snuck aboard the Death Star and stabbed Darth Vader with a lightsaber. It was a space in Vader."

"BOSS: quit listening to Vanilla Ice, participate in the meeting, and pay attention ME: so... stop, collaborate, and listen? BOSS: you're fired"

"Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing."

"I just shit my pants! I guess it serves me right for eating them in the first place..."

"Don't put all my eggs in one basket? Nice try, basket industry, I'm onto your marketing scam... #EasterBaskets"