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Joke of the Day

"A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells ""You should have been here at 8:30!"" he replies: ""Why? What happened at 8:30?"""

"What's long and hard when you first put in in your mouth, but soft and wrinkly when you take it out? A piece of gum, you pervert!"

"Why does everyone love Plato? Because he loved Dogs and he had two sons named Plato and Socrates"

"Being cremated..... ..... is my last hope for a smoking hot body."

"What do you get when you push a cow out of a plane? Ground beef"

"They offered me money to promote a product in my Twitter account, but my dignity is strong, as Axion ""The true grease stain remover"""

"wwe joke about royal rumble breaking new kofi kingston win the royal rumble and win the new wwe word heavyweight championship"

"Whats white blue and rectangular? A fridge with a denim jacket on."

"I once dated a girl with a sledgehammer fetish She was pretty *eh* looking, but the sex was smashing!"

"How to keep a man happy: 1) Phone him 86 times a day 2) Wail hysterically 3) Be needy 4) Never sleep with him 5) Buy yourself shoes"