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Joke of the Day

"I had a job interview yesterday, I poured myself a glass of water and it overflowed slightly ""Nervous?"" asked the interviewer, I simply replied ""No I always give 110%."""

"Broken pencils... ...are pointless."

"3-year-old: There's a spider on the carpet! Me: Haha, that's just a piece of fuzz. *fuzz moves* Me: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE HOUSE!"

"Chuck Norris has sex with every woman once a month. It causes a week of bleeding"

"My little brother urinated all over my new laptop. I think he needs to learn to use Ctrl P."

"I order to stay in the Navy, I had to take a course in anchor management."

"Couldn't remember the girl's name from last night so I brought her to Starbucks."

"For once I would like to find a babysitter that doesn't get all upset when she gets to my house and realizes I don't have kids"

"My therapist told me ""time heals all wounds"", So I stabbed him. Now we wait..."

"What do you get when you cross an Aboriginal with a Caucasian? A half decent person."