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Joke of the Day

"3-year-old: There's a spider on the carpet! Me: Haha, that's just a piece of fuzz. *fuzz moves* Me: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE HOUSE!"

"(Macbeth and lady Macbeth) ""I killed King Duncan"" Macbeth wtf!! ""You told me to!!"" I didn't think you'd do it omg lmao savage"

"What do Russian women get from their husbands that's long and hard on their wedding night? His last name."

"What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen? Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen."

"I've heard a lot of good puns in my day but.... the one about the kleptomaniac baker really takes the cake."

"What is your ""make like a drum and beat it"" type joke?"

"What has 5 arms and rocks? Def Leppard"

"Another reason I find children so menacing are their tiny little teeth."

"What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web? Your keyboard."

"What do you call two crows on a fence? Attempted murder."