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Joke of the Day

"My little brother urinated all over my new laptop. I think he needs to learn to use Ctrl P."

"What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot"

"Saw a phone booth. Hopped in. Came out. Didn't become Superman. Now it just looks like I was hiding while that lady was getting mugged."

"What do you call a Nun in a Wheelchair? Virgin Mobile"

"Why couldn't the pirates play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck! Aargh"

"Getting marriage advice from a priest is like taking your lawn mower to Burger King to get repaired."

"Yea...sure! I was hoping someone would come and stand uncomfortably close to me today"

"I nod and smile at empty places just to confuse any ghosts that might be there into thinking i can see them."

"Two individuals decide to spend Ramadan together... They were fast friends!"

"Patient: Doctor, doctor I don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes I think I am a wigwam and sometimes I think I'm a teepee. Doctor: Relax Mr. Robinson, you're two tents."