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Joke of the Day
"Don't masturbate with Crisco. It's shortening."
Next Joke
"Obama just said that no one is listening to our phones..I wonder if he realizes that the LAST thing we do with our phones is make a call!"
"so a man answers a phone call... man - ""I don't know, I live about ten miles from the ocean"" wife - ""who was that? what did they want?"" man - ""some asshole who wanted to know if the coast was clear"""
"Hey girl, why don't you treat me like a calculator... and give me them digits."
"""What goes down must come up."" -Sir Anorexic Newton"
"My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for a new bra."
"What can be found in a cannibal's shower? head & shoulders"
"What did the mobster call it when he couldn't move his dead friend's body? Rigatoni!"
"Gandolf here, TIFU by letting the Seahawks pass"
"Fishing for Jupiter fart fish off the wing of the space shuttle."