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Joke of the Day
"My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for a new bra."
Next Joke
"When I die I want my hand to be glued in a thumbs up, and my body lowered into molten steel."
"Posing with your cat to attract men is like posing with your cat to attract men,"
"TWITTER REHAB IS GOING GOOD YOU GUYS I GOT A NEW FRIEND HE HAS SPECIAL SUGAR AND IT'S AWESOME AND MY YARD HAS 3,957,268 BLADES OF GRASS!!!!"
"Do 90-year-old men wear boxers or briefs? Depends."
"What do you call a guy with 15 rabbits up his arse? Warren."
"*peels off yoga pants to reveal even yogier pants*"
"oneconfess At a job interview director told me that he cannot give me a job because I do not have enough points, but he can give me a son. #oneconfess"
"What should you do if you're being attacked by a gang of clowns? Go for the juggler!"
"Please, by all means, call my landline. I'll reply with a postcard attached to a helium balloon"