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Joke of the Day

"What did the mobster call it when he couldn't move his dead friend's body? Rigatoni!"

"""Hey Hillary what color do you think this dre-- never mind"" - Bill Clinton scrolling through Twitter last night"

"What did the drug dealer say to his long time girlfriend? Marriage-u-wanna?"

"Have you heard the one about the sick chemist? If you can't helium and you can't curium, you'll probably have to barium."

"My marriage is like a game of cards It started out with two hearts and a diamond, now all I want is a club and a spade."

"I wanted to take a grad level Psych class on Freud, in my sophomore year. But the professor wouldn't let me. She said I was too Jung"

"No sin mi supervision Jaimito Mama mama! Puedo usar el coche? -No sin mi supervision Jaimito! -Ui perdon por no tener superpoderes como tu!! jajaja"

"I asked a magician, ""Can you pull a rabbit out of a hat?"" ""No, but I can pull a hare out of my ass"" - (More effective told out loud) :P"

"A man walks up to three old ladies. He flashes them his penis. The first two ladies immediatly had a stroke. The third one didn't dare touch it."

"I wish my phone would stop correcting omg' to OMG', I'm not that shocked."