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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lying rooster? A cock you wouldn't believe!"

"I hate when my cat brings in a dead bird and I have to pretend I enjoy eating it so I don't hurt his feelings"

"I get so many panic attacks, that If I was a wrestler my signature move would be 'The Chest Clutch', where I get pinned as I grab my chest."

"I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND FIND YOU and cuddle you softly."

"I always wonder what the nurses reaction was like after I leave a half eaten sandwich in a coma patients hand."

"My dog had a tick once, Someone recommended i try the ""lighter fluid and match"" trick, it definitely worked as my dog never got a tick again. But man, I sure do miss my dog."

"I'm gonna open a bar and call it ""Moderation."""

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because she suspected that 7 knew she had witnessed a murder he had committed the night before."

"Sometimes I say stuff without even meaning to be funny and I'm like ""Man, my subconsicious is hilarious!"""

"a quick zinger If your uncle jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse?"