16449

Joke of the Day

"[first date] her: so, tell me about yourself! me: well, im not good with dates her: but you're doing fine! me: christmas is on september 3rd"

"why did the chicken cross the road it didn't."

"Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face."

"The guy who invented the mohawk was originally just trying to get his sideburns the same length."

"NutFlick and Chill"

"Our kids seem to prefer Kraft mac and cheese over the usual spaghetti noodles and crushed up generic Doritos."

"Rabbits who hang out in indie pet stores are hopsters."

"Browser joke What do we want? Chrome/Firefox: Faster internet! When do we want it? Internet explorer: Faster internet!"

"When it comes to sex I'm a bit of a romantic... I only masturbate to the thought of fucking girls in the missionary position."

"I went to that restaurant you said I had to try. It fucking sucked."