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Joke of the Day
"If short people smoke weed... If short people smoke weed, do they get high or medium."
Next Joke
"NASA's Scott Kelly is back on Earth after spending a year in space He found out how many states Trump won and left again"
"Sometimes I wonder how shit life would be if electricity was never invented. I mean it would be terrible having to watch TV by candlelight."
"Wife asked if I was going to take out the trash. Told her I didn't know her sister needed a ride home. I'm bleeding. Call 911"
"""Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" ""4 years sober..."""
"When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing."
"A man visits a prostitute The man says, ""I want to have sex with you for $200, but then I also want to hit you"" The prostitute asks, ""For how long?"" The man replies, ""Until I have my money back!"""
"""Old Macdonald had a farm. Had."" -banks"
"What's the hardest part of breaking up with a leper ? They always leave a piece of themselves behind."
"What is the best Cabinet post for Donald Trump? Secretary of 'De-Fence"""