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Joke of the Day
"""Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" ""4 years sober..."""
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"Being early to work is a dead giveaway that I'm still asleep and having a bad dream."
"Who's the founder of the Japanese Wikipedia? Yojimbo Wales! (Joke stolen from co-worker)"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Al ! Al who ? Al lied !"
"9/11 jokes are just plane wrong. Write any other jokes about 9/11"
"What's the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can walk into a store without Robin."
"Procrastination is like masturbation... ... it feels good while you're doing it, but you're only fucking yourself."
"When people post sad things on Facebook I just want to hug them and whisper softly in their ears, ""no one cares."""
"I stab myself a little bit every day to slowly build up an immunity to being stabbed to death."
"My recipe spilled over a little because I put baking soda in my chicken broth It wasn't a big soup rise"