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Joke of the Day

"Wife asked if I was going to take out the trash. Told her I didn't know her sister needed a ride home. I'm bleeding. Call 911"

"Where do Star Trek fans work out? At the He's Dead Gym."

"The shortest joke about Islamic State ""Made in ISIS"""

"Personally, I don't believe in ""bros before hoes"" or ""hoes before bros"" There needs to be a balance. A homie-hoe-stasis if you will."

"What do you call a black jew? Overcooked"

"Pneumonia was found dead In other news, pneumonia was found dead with 2 bullets in the back of his head, the police are ruling it a suicide."

"Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"""Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"" ""That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."" ""Is it common?"" The doctor says, ""It's Not Unusual."""

"If Einstein were alive, he would listen to 10 minutes of scientific breakthroughs before asking you to describe free online porn again."

"What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant (Told to me by one of the kids at work)"