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Joke of the Day

"""What's a good gift for someone who has everything?"" Meth. Next year they'll have nothing it'll be easier."

"According to my calorie intake, I just need to be on the treadmill for 3 years today."

"Wife: What's the Harlem shake? Me: I don't know, I think they sell them at Burger King?"

"I've just bought a car that parks itself. Oh really? And where it is? I have no fucking idea."

"What did the black pedophile say? ""Hey kid, wanna help me snatch some candy?"""

"Why can't Californians stop at stop signs? I don't know and this is not a laughing matter."

"Please don't ruin Breaking Bad for me... I'm only at the part where A texts Aria, Spencer, Hanna and Emily"

"I'm going to open a building that functions as a sperm bank as well as a urine analysis center. It'll be called ""coming or going""."

"We all know Elton John is amazing on the paino.. But did you know that he sucks on the organ?"

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