195514
Joke of the Day
"My iPhone does NOT rule my life. Battery - Don't worry, Siri. I got this."
Next Joke
"Math problem: I had 10 chocolate bars and ate 9. What do I have now? ""Oh, I do not know, DIABETES MAYBE!"""
"What did the blonde say when her doctor told her that she was pregnant? ""Is it mine""?"
"[at the mall] ""Excuse me? I lost my son. Can I please make an announcement?"" ""Of course."" [leans in to mic] ""Goodbye you little shit."""
"""Jesus loves you."" A nice thing to hear in church. And a horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison."
"KNOCK KNOCK Who's there, Howard, Howard who? Howard you wanna suck these nuts. Also works with: Wendy you wanna suck these nuts Jorge come suck these nuts"
"What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center? Two large plains."
"This entire pizza told me thigh gaps are for queers."
"You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it."
"Tragedy strikes us today as a local ""Caution Tape"" factory explodes, leaving officials unsure how to properly barricade the area"