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Joke of the Day

"Please don't ruin Breaking Bad for me... I'm only at the part where A texts Aria, Spencer, Hanna and Emily"

"Would you like to make me wine? Join everyone stomping my grapes."

"Smirnoff bought pabst Now traded as pab-smir"

"I want to work in salon.. So I can get paid to give facials"

"What receives a man's first blowjob? An NES cartridge."

"What did the woman say when having intercourse with the square-shaped pasta food? ""That feels ravioli good!"""

"So I Was Going to Kill Myself But I hear whales are endangered."

"What do call groups of the 5 most dangerous animals? A troop of gorillas A shiver of sharks A streak of tigers A band of Indians And a gang of niggers."

"I don't know about you guys, but I think Jesus would definitely have had a hard time paying for my sins on a carpenters salary."

"I rolled over and saw a girl laying in bed next to me. ""How the fuck did you get in here?"" I asked. She said, ""You don't remember last night, do you?"" ""I do,"" I replied, ""But my hallway is narrow."""