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Joke of the Day

"Now that I have an adult coloring book, most arguments with my 3 yr old are over fridge space."

"The set of tools that mods can use."

"You going to eat those sausages? - What? The encased meats. Do you want them? - Those are my fingers. Oh, no thanks, I'm not there yet."

"Please spread my ashes over the breakroom at work. That way Sherry from accounting can bitch about cleaning up my messes forever."

"Why are Americans so good at shooting? They have the best schools for it."

"A man invested in a weight loss diet from Britain He lost 10,000 pounds! But it didn't work"

"If he calls you clingy, move in immediately without warning and decorate his bed with 57 throw pillows"

"Why did Obama serve two terms? Because blacks always get a longer sentence"

"I use to have crabs... Until the bigger bugs ate them."

"Trivia Crack is much safer than regular crack, but it will still tear your family apart."