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Joke of the Day

"Now that I have an adult coloring book, most arguments with my 3 yr old are over fridge space."

"Where does a burger feel at home? On the range!"

"I do most of my lying when I'm trying to get off the phone."

"When do vampires bite you? On Wincedays."

"Oh ya, let's sit down and talk about it! *That's how I end and win any argument with hubby."

"Wife: Want do you want for dinner? Me: Surprise me. Wife: I used to be a man. Me: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pizza."

"It's better to plagiarize from Encarta than from Wikipedia, because people actually read Wikipedia."

"What do you call a drunk muslim woman? Stoned."

"What happened in China on Christmas? The Rice-child was born."

"What do you call a kitten who accidentally eat all your pills? A Caterpillar"