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Joke of the Day
"When do vampires bite you? On Wincedays."
Next Joke
"Opposites don't always attract. I've met several sane and normal people and found nothing about them appealing."
"Okay, raise your hand if you put raisins in your oatmeal cookies. Great. Now, make a fist with that hand & punch yourself in the face."
"Him- All of your fantasies include me, right? *imagines flying on a Pegasus with Thor* H- Are you waving at the ground? Me-Yes to both"
"Scientists have invented a new device called the hyperbole chamber. It is the greatest and best thing ever since the dawn of civilization."
"What is the difference between a tire and a black man? The tire doesn't start singing when you chain it."
"I call my husband current... He likes it better than number two."
"When Lionel Messi dies.. He should have his Argentinian team mates bury him so they can let him down one last time.."
"Why is my kitchen floor so gross I just mopped like 3 months ago."
"[Mysoginistic joke] What's the definition of the perfect woman? Four feet tall, fold back teeth, flat head so you can rest your beer on it, and turns into a pizza at midnight."