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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Want do you want for dinner? Me: Surprise me. Wife: I used to be a man. Me: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pizza."

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"""I'm your biggest fan."" -- That humongous talking fan you bought from that magician"
"What is Hitler's favourite animal? Adolphin"
"You legally aren't married until someone says, ""haha but seriously"" in their wedding speech."
"Hillary Clinton is like an art history major, old and useless."
"What do you call a nice Jewish Lyft driver? an Uber Mensch."
"One of my friends recommend circumcision It wasn't all it was cut out to be"
"Different Types of Nuts. What do you call nuts on your wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin? Dick in your mouth."
"HER: why do you hate every single Hugh Grant movie? ME: i love love actually actually"
"I don't mind comic sans. It's honestly a very well rounded font."
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