55283

Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't anyone let Trump go fishing with them anymore? He always takes the bait..."

"The reason cats are so pissy is they're God's perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them"

"I love it when I go to untie a shoe and inadvertently tie a Double Reverse Hitch knot and have to hire an Eagle Scout to get my sneaker off."

"My mom threw away all my Linkin Park CDs and kicked me out of the house. But in the end it doesn't even matter."

"For everyone who's looking, here's a handy list of all the reasons to vote for Donald Trump: There aren't any."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Allah. Allah who? Allahu Ackbar!!!!"

"How does Google celebrate its birthday? With a search party."

"You know what is ironic about Whitney Houston dying in her bath tub? She was taking swimming lessons at that time"

"School joke Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"Walked into a very expensive restaurant, sat down, was handed a menu. Comic Sans. Got up and left. Life is hard."