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Joke of the Day
"I decided today that I want to have kids I hope they taste good"
Next Joke
"[coffee shop] *casually puts arm around wife* *reaches up to Free Wifi sign with a pen* *changes last ""i"" to an ""e"", draws downward arrow*"
"Post? Post and repost are on a bridge. Post jumps off. Who is left?"
"Made a small donation to a street comedian for this gem... how do you know your at a gay picnic? The hot dogs taste like shit"
"Most people cry while chopping an onion... The secret is to not form an emotional bond."
"Please pray for girls everywhere who are getting a ""What's up"" text right now Be strong. Don't answer. Eat ice cream."
"Today I saw two little kids fighting. As the only adult nearby, I had to step in. Those kids didn't stand a chance."
"What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with Cheese."
"[bill gates house] Bill: What's on at the cinema? Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see."
"How do you turn on a lamp? By seducing it"