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Joke of the Day

"[coffee shop] *casually puts arm around wife* *reaches up to Free Wifi sign with a pen* *changes last ""i"" to an ""e"", draws downward arrow*"

"If Bernie Sanders has more delegates but still gets denied by the DNC... ...that would be unpresidented."

"I love to post jokes while crossing the stre"

"You're only as good as your last tweet."

"Why did the doctor kick his patients? He was trying to heel them."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind."

"Facebook is the biggest whistle-blower of them all, telling people I saw their messages."

"FRIEND: do u want to hang out this weekend ME: generic excuse FRIEND: did u just say ""generic excuse"""

"My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number? I responded: Who is this?"

"A rabbi and a priest are walking past a park, where they see a group of boys playing football The priest says ""Let's go over and screw them kids."" The rabbi replies ""Out of what?"""