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Joke of the Day

"Why did God create stock analysts? In order to make weather forecasters look good."

"I cant comprehend constipation That shit is too deep"

"I took the batterys out of my carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping the whole week, and my roof told me to."

"Replacing facebook with Twitter is a bit like replacing caffeine with heroin"

"What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? Sorry I'm a little horse!"

"Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of mouse walks on two legs? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs? A: They all do!"

"How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one to hold it in place while the rest of Europe runs circles around it."

"The person who is your first and last thought of the day is either the one who has your heart, or who's murder you're secretly plotting."

"Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said: ""You're a lot like a math exam."" I replied ""Why? Because I'm long and hard?"" She said, ""No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."""

"Whenever there is trouble, Justice League cums in a... Flash"