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Joke of the Day
"I cant comprehend constipation That shit is too deep"
Next Joke
"PARENTS: When someone offers you drugs, you say no! ME (going out into the world): I'm ready [literally no one offers me drugs ever]"
"he literally just said, ""everyone's saying i won the debate."" is it possible...hear me out...trump has an imaginary friend named Everyone?"
"I feel like a lot of single women have been naming their cats Adele this year."
"Whats the difference between children and lesbians? Children shouldn't run with scissors. Lesbians shouldn't scissor with the runs."
"Weighed myself. Did elliptical for 30 minutes. Weighed myself. Half a pound heavier. Never exercising again."
"Rumor has it that John Wayne's autopsy revealed 40 pounds of fecal matter lodged in his intestines But it turned out to be a lot of shit"
"[speed dating] her: I really want to have a child some day. What about you? me: define ""child"""
"What did the black kid say to his mom when he had diarrhea? Help! I'm melting!"
"What kind of marijuana do cows smoke? moo-dicinal"